Aight,
So its been a long time since I updated this ting but a motherfuckers gotta get $pawny in the flesh as well nahmean? I cant spend every week doin this shit when I gotta be correcting wackness in the real (like the littlest hobo but I aint a dog, dont wanna be treading on DMX's paws). Anyway I thought I'd do something real special that'd make the bitches turn into Niagara Falls and give the homies somethin to aspire to - a video blog tearing some vapid bitch with too much moneys reality show made for youtube apart for like half an hour. The homie Diamante D came over to the new Moat Man$ion with some serious video recording shit and we hit Frank Tampax up on the celly to get the name of this audio-visual cunt parade. Long story short the bitch has taken it down so Imma have to do the next best thing until one of my sources can get me an episode on the d-low and do a written blog about one of her tracks - Untouchable (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIZ1r-ynvik)... But first a little backstory: Bitch is spoilt as a candy-coated motherfucker - she spent £4m on her 21st birthday which is dumb as all fuck because I'm fairly sure a jacuzzi, half a kilo of 'caine, 10 escorts, 20 cases of Cristal and an Eazy E best of album is MUCH less than 4 mil (maybe she got ripped off on the 'caine, bitch is pretty dumb).
Aight so down to business, basically I'm only gonna talk about the REALLY dumb shit because all of the filler is wack as fuck and I aint got the time get me? First her logo thats in the background throughout this shit looks like what a 14 year old bitch would want tatted all up in her tramp stamp area but with 'Kaylee' or some other stupid ass stripper name instead of 'Freya'.
The bitch is screeching about how she just "lost hold of gravity" - knowing how to taste for cut in 'caine might be the most scientific I get (aside from my PhD in bitches) but I'M FAIRLY SURE YOU CAN'T HOLD GRAVITY DUMBASS, THAT MOTHERFUCKER HOLDS YOU AND IT SURE AS FUCK IS KEEPING A FIRM GRIP ON THOSE TITS DESPITE YOUR CUSTOM-DESIGNED BRA'S BEST EFFORTS
"Who do you think you are? Banging down that door" well bitch when someone bangs down my door (its either the 5-0 or an army of shortys when I forget to turn my swag off at night) y'all can guarantee that I don't stand there asking for them to identify themselves in the dumbest way possible with a bullshit shaky voice thats trying way too motherfuckin hard to be Beyonce.
"Can't touch me, not touchable" I could touch your psyche when I say you a bit fat and your insecure ass either spends $$$s on personal training or lose it the Moatercise way (fuckin - I devised this exercise plan for Kerry Katona and the bitch still hasn't holla'd). Unless she talking bout the reverse Midas effect where everything the bitch touches turns daddys cash to shit.
OHHHH SICK after another verse of basically the same tired bullshit theres a slow RnB breakdown CAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET E-MOTHERFUCKIN-NOUGH OF SLOW RNB BREAKDOWNS. IT'S LIKE 2005 UP IN THIS BITCH
The 3rd verse man, the motherfuckin third verse. I aint even gonna say shit because word is bond eeryting is stick-your-dick-in-a-blender retarded. Like whoever she hired to write all 20 different words of the entire track just thought 'nah blud I've had enough' and added a faster bit rhyming 'you' with 'you' and threw on some shit about the bottom of the ocean cause hey, motherfuckers gettin paid whatever right? They probably told her it was a rap verse and she added hip-hop to her interests on facebook for a week.
Well homies and $pawnettes, that was wack as all fuck. I'm still down for a collab album with this bitch though but I get to 1) pick the beats 2) write the tracks 3) perform the tracks and 4) choose the album artwork. She can 1) pay for it. To sweeten the deal I'll even throw in the Moatercise plan for free
Peace
Aight so down to business, basically I'm only gonna talk about the REALLY dumb shit because all of the filler is wack as fuck and I aint got the time get me? First her logo thats in the background throughout this shit looks like what a 14 year old bitch would want tatted all up in her tramp stamp area but with 'Kaylee' or some other stupid ass stripper name instead of 'Freya'.
The bitch is screeching about how she just "lost hold of gravity" - knowing how to taste for cut in 'caine might be the most scientific I get (aside from my PhD in bitches) but I'M FAIRLY SURE YOU CAN'T HOLD GRAVITY DUMBASS, THAT MOTHERFUCKER HOLDS YOU AND IT SURE AS FUCK IS KEEPING A FIRM GRIP ON THOSE TITS DESPITE YOUR CUSTOM-DESIGNED BRA'S BEST EFFORTS
"Who do you think you are? Banging down that door" well bitch when someone bangs down my door (its either the 5-0 or an army of shortys when I forget to turn my swag off at night) y'all can guarantee that I don't stand there asking for them to identify themselves in the dumbest way possible with a bullshit shaky voice thats trying way too motherfuckin hard to be Beyonce.
"Can't touch me, not touchable" I could touch your psyche when I say you a bit fat and your insecure ass either spends $$$s on personal training or lose it the Moatercise way (fuckin - I devised this exercise plan for Kerry Katona and the bitch still hasn't holla'd). Unless she talking bout the reverse Midas effect where everything the bitch touches turns daddys cash to shit.
OHHHH SICK after another verse of basically the same tired bullshit theres a slow RnB breakdown CAUSE I JUST CAN'T GET E-MOTHERFUCKIN-NOUGH OF SLOW RNB BREAKDOWNS. IT'S LIKE 2005 UP IN THIS BITCH
The 3rd verse man, the motherfuckin third verse. I aint even gonna say shit because word is bond eeryting is stick-your-dick-in-a-blender retarded. Like whoever she hired to write all 20 different words of the entire track just thought 'nah blud I've had enough' and added a faster bit rhyming 'you' with 'you' and threw on some shit about the bottom of the ocean cause hey, motherfuckers gettin paid whatever right? They probably told her it was a rap verse and she added hip-hop to her interests on facebook for a week.
Well homies and $pawnettes, that was wack as all fuck. I'm still down for a collab album with this bitch though but I get to 1) pick the beats 2) write the tracks 3) perform the tracks and 4) choose the album artwork. She can 1) pay for it. To sweeten the deal I'll even throw in the Moatercise plan for free
Peace
