Aight,
So I've been thinkin for a while about the viability of gettin $pawny in the real on 'Come dine with me'. I can hear y'all ask "But $pawn, why would you wanna let a load of wastecadets anywhere near the Moat mansion even if you do get to go to their places and diss all their shit for no reason" and the answer is that Caprice did it once (see photo) and I've got a 110% chance of hittin that until she's so wet the bitch gets dry mouth if we got on the same episode nahmean? Again I can hear y'all ask "But $pawn, I know you got a physique so hard it makes diamonds look as soft as an Usher track and levels of swag so motherfuckin high it cures pussy cancer but aint it impossible to guarantee givin this choice piece of 90's ass internal bleeding?" Simple motherfuckers, y'all just aint seen my menu yet
Entrance:
Start this shit off right with a glass of Cristal and a bandanna at the door. The colour of the bandanna compares to how much I wanna break a motherfuckers jaw (orange). Gonna have to get two orange ones in case David Gest does another episode, he just don't sit right with me nahmean?
Pre appetizer drinks and shit conversation :
More Cristal, 'caine served ready cut on a mirror shaped like a Beretta 92FS. I'd spit some freestyles to get the honeys warmed up and the bres intimidated enough they aint gonna give a gangsta anything less than 11/10, show the bitches some guns (bitches love the chrome, makes 'em think about dicks - hence why my shits called the .50 cal: 'cause it can punch through the engine block of an '85 Eldorado and still turn a motherfuckin strippers snatch inside out)
Starter:
Sushi served on a naked shorty, high in protein and eaten off some bitches lower abdomen its a guaranteed hit - if you think anythin else you probably the kinda pussy who cries at birds gettin they heads stuck in beer cans thrown on the beach. THAT SHITS HILARIOUS SON
Main Course:
The Colonels original recipe all on a 6ft long silver platter with an ice sculpture of me gettin $pawny with Jodie Marsh wearing a crown and a cape (that shit is classy as hell). Right about now Caprice is gonna be stuffing a whole roll of Bounty all up in her lingerie to try and stop the Niagara $pawn brewin up in that motherfucker.
Dessert:
You gotta end this shit real classy get me? Naked shortys, a chocolate fountain and a bowl full of x tabs. Show me a motherfucker who doesn't dig the fuck outta ecstasy and melted chocolate at the same time and I'll show you a bitch who doesn't turn into a drooling child at the thought of an engagement ring. The homegirl C-doggs had 2 orgasms now and I aint even touched her.
I'm done with all this planning shit, now all I gotta do is make it a reality. I'll see y'all later, I've got some Caprice to go violate.
Peace
Entrance:
Start this shit off right with a glass of Cristal and a bandanna at the door. The colour of the bandanna compares to how much I wanna break a motherfuckers jaw (orange). Gonna have to get two orange ones in case David Gest does another episode, he just don't sit right with me nahmean?
Pre appetizer drinks and shit conversation :
More Cristal, 'caine served ready cut on a mirror shaped like a Beretta 92FS. I'd spit some freestyles to get the honeys warmed up and the bres intimidated enough they aint gonna give a gangsta anything less than 11/10, show the bitches some guns (bitches love the chrome, makes 'em think about dicks - hence why my shits called the .50 cal: 'cause it can punch through the engine block of an '85 Eldorado and still turn a motherfuckin strippers snatch inside out)
Starter:
Sushi served on a naked shorty, high in protein and eaten off some bitches lower abdomen its a guaranteed hit - if you think anythin else you probably the kinda pussy who cries at birds gettin they heads stuck in beer cans thrown on the beach. THAT SHITS HILARIOUS SON
Main Course:
The Colonels original recipe all on a 6ft long silver platter with an ice sculpture of me gettin $pawny with Jodie Marsh wearing a crown and a cape (that shit is classy as hell). Right about now Caprice is gonna be stuffing a whole roll of Bounty all up in her lingerie to try and stop the Niagara $pawn brewin up in that motherfucker.
Dessert:
You gotta end this shit real classy get me? Naked shortys, a chocolate fountain and a bowl full of x tabs. Show me a motherfucker who doesn't dig the fuck outta ecstasy and melted chocolate at the same time and I'll show you a bitch who doesn't turn into a drooling child at the thought of an engagement ring. The homegirl C-doggs had 2 orgasms now and I aint even touched her.
I'm done with all this planning shit, now all I gotta do is make it a reality. I'll see y'all later, I've got some Caprice to go violate.
Peace
