It's been a while since I updated this shit - but there's been a metric fuckton of $pawnin to do out in the real so this virtual shits had to suffer, like the legions of bitches sufferin from not gettin my .50 cal right now cause I'm bloggin like a bitch. Long story $pawn sometimes a motherfucker gotta spend 5 months skiing with his nostrils and water-skiing with his dick nahmean? Y'all cant hold that shit against a gangsta, just like y'all cant blame a bear for shittin in the woods or Tulisa for soundin like a raging cunt on every track. Anyways I'm not writin this shit to explain what I've been doin that isn't spittin pure fire on blogspot - I'm here to talk about this piece of finery riiiight here (see photo motherfucker) that y'all would fuck and if you wouldn't then you probably the type of pussy that signs petitions to ban tits on page 3 and uses words like objectification. YOU DAMN RIGHT ITS OBJECTIFICATION BITCH, ALSO IF THE FUCKERS ARE MADE OUT OF SILICONE THEN THEY TECHNICALLY AINT PART OF THE WOMAN. Anyways if I wanna $pawn me some tits I just catch the personalised limo shuttle to Spearmint Rhinos that's outside my door on a 24/7 ting so I don't need to read a newspaper that's got a team of journalists dedicated to what Holly Willoughby eats for her motherfuckin breakfast nahmean? One day its gonna be a picture of ya boy cause bitch be fine, empty Dom bottles eerywhere and a pair of panties with more moisture than the Great lakes all hangin off one of the cameras.
So this bitch is Stacey Solomon and she presents 'Top Dog Model'. Imma put that in some serious inverted commas because that shit is letting DMX look after your new pit-bull puppy levels of retarded right there. I mean a gangsta can see the appeal of insert wherever the fuck here's Next Top Model 'cause some of them are pretty fuckable but I aint into gettin $pawny with a fuckin dachshund nahmsayin? I mean Next Top Model had mad feminine appeal - fuck knows how many times I've heard a shorty screechin about how "She's pretty because she's unique" about some bitch who looks like a praying mantis and a really white Somali with out of control cheekbones forgot to use a rubber and also how to eat (protip: a gangsta don't give a shit about "unique" if the bitch aint fuckable then she aint "pretty").
What we're gettin here is Crufts but with a shitload of added oestrogen and instead of a bunch of old motherfuckers who spend way too long looking at dogs we've got a model (the fuck?!) some bre who I can't be fucked to research and the winners of Britain's Got Talent - some bitch and a dog that looks like a torn up tampon. Lemme just get this one straight: a fuckin dog is the most talented person in this motherfuckin country?! I COULD MURDER ANY DOG IN A 16 BAR FREESTYLE so that's some pretty obvious bs nahmean?
Aight Let's get down to business:
Stacey Solomon - Pros and motherfuckin Cons
Pros:
Bitch be pretty fine, yeah you get some bad pictures (the Katona effect) but shortys got a nice body and she hasn't got Sarah Jessica Parker face as bad as Sarah Jessica Parker. Even a bre as $pawny as myself gets some bad pictures nahmean? Nobodies gonna look too hot after a week long Patron and 'caine binge
She'll get hookups to 'awards' ceremonies - I checked and these motherfuckers don't serve Cristal so you gotta bring your own but y'all could see if Holly Willoughbys there and try to get a glazed cocktail cherry down her cleavage (daaaaaammmn girl you really gotta holla at ya $pawn)
If you into shit dogs then you can watch her do whatever the fuck it is she does on this waste-gramme
Cons:
Look at that motherfuckin nose. Invite the bitch over for a line and a fuck and before you know it half a kilo and the breadbin you were hiding it ins disappeared (the Winehouse effect)
She was on Waste Factor
Imma say that the pros outweigh the cons but if to be honest I aint too sure, its up to y'all to decide if H Dubs tits are worth it,
Peace
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