Sunday 11 September 2011

F.A.C.E.B.O.O.K.

Aight,

A load of shits been said about facebook over the years and I thought I might as well give my million ducats on it (like my 2 cents but that's plain bitch money). Imma break it up into bits so all of y'all ADHD motherfuckers who cant read more than like 5 lines of text solidly can just pick out the part that'll stop you whining like a $15 Thai whore. First imma drop the bottom line - facebook is the shit, no screwin around, it only fucks your shit up (or so your bitch-ass thinks)  if you a grade a-tryin to put a square peg in a triangle hole-drooling on your shirt retard and let me explain why.
Dumbfuck reason 1 INVASION OF MY PRIVACY!! THEY USE MY INFO FOR ADVERTS!!!!!
Sometime a bre's illin out at his favourite bar or strip club of his choosing and he sees some adverts and thinks "you know what, a fly motherfucker like myself could do with a champagne bucket for my ride" or whatever else, sometimes its a website but what I'm gettin at is that these advertising bre's know what kinda gansgsta goes to the bar/strip club/website that they throwin their Gs at so they still gonna be doin what facebook does just you told em this time. Sometimes those ads are useful as eleven bitches and a crate of malt liquor or sometimes the whole ad recommendation thing shits itself and you get some seriously entertaining tings (once I got an ad about tampons sandwiched between legal steroids ads, thats some twisted Micheal Barrymore's hot tub after 1am shit right there).
Dumbfuck reason 2 THE GOVERNMENT CAN SEE ALL OF MY PERSONAL INFO!!!
Lets straighten this out - MI6, MI5, the CIA, FBI and all the rest of those alphabet-soup motherfuckers don't give a sixteenth of a shit whether your personal interests are 'your mum lol' 'goin out an gettin fucked up wiv my girlies' or 'bein no.1 gangsta'. If you p-noid about the 5-0 seein the vanity pictures of you smokin a spliff or doing lines of daz that some bre told you was coke then DONT PUT THE MOTHERFUCKERS UP .  If gettin fucked up is that much of a thang that you immediately need to shoot that shit onto your facebook then you need to get a life son (coming soon - $pawniversity).
Dumbfuck reason 3 MY EMPLOYERS CAN SEE ALL OF MY PICS FROM MY NIGHTS OUT!!!
I don't get this one because all of my thangs are gangsta as fuck and any employer would just hire a motherfucker anyway based on how VIP I run my shit on a night out. Anyways out of the goodness of my platinum plated heart I've compiled a list of employers who'd be fine with all of that shit for you pissy ass bitches.
WKD - those photos of you and your homies in a shitty chain-club where you've got yo thumbs up and your main mans got his arse out show you've got a WKD side so your all good. If that doesn't work then the photos of you getting thrown out by the bouncers (shout outs to mah Gs on the doors) for being cunts surely will.
Scientific testing - remember that time you and the rugby team (wheeey) went out on the 'lash express' after drinking each others piss in pint glasses for 'banter' all wearing dresses? I'm sure some scientific motherfuckers want to work out whether its nature or nurture that turns you into a huge, pulsating cock.
Moattourage - (only applicable to shortys with too much makeup on and their tits out) come get $pawny with a gangsta, I aint payin you shit but i'll throw you a 40oz and maybe you can hit the jizzay after we've fucked.  
That's all I'm givin you for free motherfuckers.

Facebook is the bomb, I've even got some pending friend requests a gwan with some bitches who got their slot-machines out on holiday (couldn't get that shit up for todays pic until they get their click on and accept a G nahmean?).

I'm all facebooked out. Let a motherfucker know in the comments if you want me to do another ting on facebook in the future, if not then leave this shit blanker than Paris Hilton's face when shes fuckin that bre in nightvision (I like to pretend that shits like the blair witch project, much more entertaining if you imagine that they're meant to be running from a bitch but they got wank attention spans and end up having shit sex)

Peace 

No comments:

Post a Comment