Aight,
I haven't watched a single episode of these 'I'm from somewhere so watch me act like a cunt' programs because my moat senses tell me that they're shit and a mans gotta trust his instincts yeah? I CAN say that I'd fuck pretty much every woman on there and bitches are only hatin on em because they get paid to open their legs, act like sluts and cry about it and your average woman doesn't - that or these reality ho's are a fuckin waste of biology, who knows? I don't because I'm not socially handicapped enough to spend valuable $pawning time watching wastecadets speak in accents. I'd fuck both of the idiots in this picture even though the midget one with the shit hair gets pissed on by everybody all the time (haters gonna hate) cause compared to your average woman she's kinda aight, she wears leopardprint and I'd get all fucked up at "awards" ceremonies for free. The one on the left is mad fuckable and dumb women do funny shit, especially if they have self esteem issues bigger than hip hop. I'm not even gonna go into the British version of this shit because it's fuckin unbearable listening to the adverts and I probably don't need to see any of the Essex bitches to tell you I'd make em look like a spooky ghost with the amount of cum they'd get glazed with. This shit got me thinkin if I could do any better than the people who get serious ducats for drooling on themselves and shouting "LETS DO THE SAME SHOW, BUT IN NEWCASTLE!!!". Of course I fuckin can and to any execs reading this - holla at ya $pawn if you want to use any of this shit:
Gangbangin - Like Ross Kemp on Gangs but I get all Charlie Sheened up and exercise deliberately bad trigger discipline when they hand over their guns, there WILL be casualties but on whose side? Thats what'll keep these prime time motherfuckers tuning in.
Piers-ing the issue - Every week for 30 mins someone beats the everloving shit outta Piers Morgan, just tell him its a REALLY IMPORTANT talent show and he's gotta judge each beating or something, the egotistical cunt. The title could do with some pimpin but y'all can use celebrities if Charles Bronson ever gets outta the pen.
Kanyon - Kanye West tries to act like ma boy D Att and does a documentary on the ecosystem of the Grand Canyon, give him loads of fake shit to say and it'd be funny as fuck. Not so hot but I just wanted to make the pun.
Five Star Fucksury - This is kinda more of a porno idea but y'all could call it 'artistic' and it'd probably get on BBC3 or some shit. Basically gimme a room at the Ritz and a 10 G a night escort and I'll take care of the rest. Can you imagine a super hot shorty with a Cristal bottle up her ass? I sure as fuck can
G-ladiators - shot on location in San Salvador, make MS-13 the gladiators and 18th street the contenders and instead of the dumb ass padded sticks throw em some AR 15s. I would watch this so bad I'd forget about pussy for like half an hour.
Since I'm not getting any Gs for this shit right now imma stop spittin tv fire, but why do motherfuckers watch this reality shit? It can't be because they fuck sometimes, otherwise a bre's gotta watch like 30 mins of shit to catch some muffled screaming through a bitches bedroom door (I've had more fun with 5 mins of imagining Kari Byron off mythbusters naked). Y'all want reality? Two words for you bitches: Jeremy Kyle
Peace
Gangbangin - Like Ross Kemp on Gangs but I get all Charlie Sheened up and exercise deliberately bad trigger discipline when they hand over their guns, there WILL be casualties but on whose side? Thats what'll keep these prime time motherfuckers tuning in.
Piers-ing the issue - Every week for 30 mins someone beats the everloving shit outta Piers Morgan, just tell him its a REALLY IMPORTANT talent show and he's gotta judge each beating or something, the egotistical cunt. The title could do with some pimpin but y'all can use celebrities if Charles Bronson ever gets outta the pen.
Kanyon - Kanye West tries to act like ma boy D Att and does a documentary on the ecosystem of the Grand Canyon, give him loads of fake shit to say and it'd be funny as fuck. Not so hot but I just wanted to make the pun.
Five Star Fucksury - This is kinda more of a porno idea but y'all could call it 'artistic' and it'd probably get on BBC3 or some shit. Basically gimme a room at the Ritz and a 10 G a night escort and I'll take care of the rest. Can you imagine a super hot shorty with a Cristal bottle up her ass? I sure as fuck can
G-ladiators - shot on location in San Salvador, make MS-13 the gladiators and 18th street the contenders and instead of the dumb ass padded sticks throw em some AR 15s. I would watch this so bad I'd forget about pussy for like half an hour.
Since I'm not getting any Gs for this shit right now imma stop spittin tv fire, but why do motherfuckers watch this reality shit? It can't be because they fuck sometimes, otherwise a bre's gotta watch like 30 mins of shit to catch some muffled screaming through a bitches bedroom door (I've had more fun with 5 mins of imagining Kari Byron off mythbusters naked). Y'all want reality? Two words for you bitches: Jeremy Kyle
Peace
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